How to tame a cranky grade school kid?

All parents dream of the taking the most well-mannered kids out with them. But the best of the child can be very cranky. Going to market with a grade school kid can at times be a big challenge for parents. They have their set of demands which can be at times very unreasonable. They will be stuck on that one toy that is of no use and very expensive. They often make it a habit of getting a toy each time they go for grocery shopping. As a mother I really can’t handle my budget because of these tantrums by my child. 

There are instances when the young school graders aged 6-8 years don’t even understand the worth of time. My 7 year old can tell me the time by looking at the clock but she fails to understand the importance of it. It would be almost school time when she will be stuck with her fantasies. Calling out for the time and that she would be late at times have no effect on her. These kids are in their own small world. I really feel like a culprit when I have to break her fantasies and by any means take her to school. Though I feel that will that actually make a difference by reaching 5 min late to school on one particular day. But all these things stresses me out as a mother. So I tried to find ways out as my complete schedule for office and home would be ruined by one delay. As a working mother I had very less time to talk to my kids.

I tried few ways out. That worked well with my kids.

1.       Prepare the kid for the next day schedule: I started talking to my kids about their whole day after reading a bedtime story to them. They would describe the complete schedule. Starting from when they woke up till the bedtime. Their interaction with their friends and teachers. The day my kid was very fussy, I would start to talk about the same incident. Their opinion on the incident. What could have been a better way of tackling the situation? What would they have done had they been a mother in my place when their kids did the same? This gave my children a lot of time to think and analyse about themselves. This will definitely help them decide the right thing for themselves for life time. They will develop the habit of self-analysis. After all this I would talk to them about how their next day would be like. For instance they have to go to school. So what will they do in the morning? They would themselves answer about the schedule they will follow. The next morning just a reminder about the last night talk and things started working well. When we had to go for shopping I started to prepare them for the same and their expectations when the go out. This gave them the ownership for their deeds.

2.       Ask for explanation instead of shouting: I started asking for explanation to their act instead of shouting at them. The moment my kids would start to throw tantrums at the time of shopping for any unreasonable toy, instead of immediately saying ‘NO’, I asked my kids to give me two reasons why I should buy them that toy. I told them to convince me that they are in real need of that toy. The tantrums started to turn into a decent conversation where I could convince them for the right demand or at times they would convince me when I was wrong.

3.       Calm down with a hug: When the child is really in a bad mood, you can’t expect them to give you an explanation about why they want the toy. So the first thing I started doing was calming myself down. If I shout they shout louder. At times just a hug to your child works out wonders. I simply started giving a hug to my child to bring down her temper level. Then I would tell her to put her hand on the heart to do some deep breathing mindfulness exercise. Though I should mention that in my night talk I talk to my kids about mindfulness. Since they would answer at times that they don’t know what they are doing when they have a high temper. So I told them I will try to remind them by mindfulness. So this exercise calms them down most of the times.

Though the best of the things fail when the child is cranky. We need to reassure them with the love and a gentle tone voice. Let the crank be and eventually they will calm down. It’s just that spur of a moment when we have to control ourselves and thing will be fine. After all they are kids and they will learn with time.